


Pumpkins, Parades and Perverts

by Squidalicious



Series: Pure Romance Oneshots [5]
Category: Junjou Romantica
Genre: Cosplay, Fluff, Halloween Special, M/M, Man-Child Usagi-san, Scaredy-Cat Misaki, Slight Steaminess, stupid puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-19 02:49:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11888352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squidalicious/pseuds/Squidalicious
Summary: While celebrating their first Halloween together, Usagi-san has one or two tricks in store for Misaki. Who totally isn't scared or anything. (Cameos from JE, JT and other characters)





	Pumpkins, Parades and Perverts

There'd been a murder in Misaki's home.

He discovered the scene of the crime on the evening of October thirty-first, when he arrived back at the condo from work. Intending to start dinner before a certain someone cornered him for a daily dose of rabid rabbit sex, he unlocked the door, dumped his bulging briefcase on the floor with a sigh and made his way into the kitchen- only to recoil in horror at the gruesome sight that greeted him.

"What the _hell_?"

It seemed his lovely kitchen had harboured an act of homicide in his absence… if it was possible to commit veggie-homicide, anyway. Three bodies (mottled green and possibly once recognisable as pumpkins) lay on the countertop, hacked to bits, their innards splattered over every wall and surface like some kind of vegetal road kill.

The perpetrator stood over them, a gleaming knife in hand. Upon hearing Misaki's exclamation, he glanced up from… whatever it was he was doing and said, "Welcome home."

"Usagi-san?" Misaki said, blinking in bewilderment. He stepped further into the room. The author, like the countertop, was streaked with stringy, orange pumpkin guts, and he was using his knife to carve big chunks out of the vegetables. It was the most bizarre thing Misaki had ever laid eyes on (and that, as an Usami's roommate, was saying something), but Usagi-san looked oddly absorbed in his task.

"How was work?" he asked without looking up.

Misaki ignored him. "What _is_ all this?" He peered at the three mutilated pumpkins with a mixture of confusion, mild disgust and annoyance. "Usagi-san, I was going to make soup out of those."

"You can use the leftovers," Usagi-san replied. He gestured to the square of newspaper beside him, where it seemed he had tried but certainly not succeeded to keep all the pumpkin entrails in one pile.

Closing his eyes, Misaki took a deep breath and counted, very slowly, to ten in his head. When he was done, he asked, "Did you try and make your own dinner again?" Honestly, he'd _told_ Usagi-san about messing around in the kitchen… "Why didn't you just wait for me to get home instead of maiming these innocent pumpkins?"

Usagi-san laughed. He set the knife down, turning to the sink to wash away the flat seeds stuck to his hands.

"I wasn't cooking," he said. Drying off with a dishtowel, he walked back to the counter and gazed down at the three pumpkins fondly. It was the same kind of look he often gave Suzuki-san. "It being the season and everything, I just had a sudden urge to revisit my childhood, that's all."

Misaki watched as a globule of orange slime fell from the ceiling with a dull _splat_. "Yeah, I'm gonna need more information."

Smiling, his boyfriend picked up one of the ruined pumpkins and handed it to Misaki. "It's a Halloween tradition in England," he explained. "You scoop out the inside of a pumpkin and carve a face on it. See?"

"Oh…" Misaki, who had completely forgotten it was Halloween, looked down at Usagi-san's creation with surprise; what he'd taken for a random pattern of scars and slices on the front of the pumpkin was actually a rather skilfully whittled teddy-bear head. He turned the other two pumpkins around to face him. On one was a rabbit, and on the other a panda bear with a moustache.

"When you're done you turn it into a lantern," Usagi-san went on, taking his silver lighter from his breast pocket and flicking it open. Amongst the mess on the countertop were three squat little candles, and once he'd lit them, the author carefully placed one inside each of the hollowed-out pumpkins. Misaki watched, fascinated, as Usagi-san then replaced the sliced-off pumpkin crowns on top like lids.

"It looks better if you use those big orange pumpkins," he remarked, swivelling the finished products around to face Misaki. "But you can't get them in this country."

Though he was still upset about the kitchen, Misaki couldn't help but smile at the little pumpkin-lanterns. Even with the candle flames making them flicker eerily against the dark green skin, Usagi-san's designs still managed to look cute.

"Heh, that's pretty neat," he said, picking up the one with the glowing teddy-bear face to admire it. He was surprised someone as clumsy in the kitchen as Usagi-san had made such a thing. "You're good at these, Usagi-san. Who taught you, your dad?"

Given Usagi-chichi's obsession with wood carvings, it seemed like a reasonable guess, but Usagi-san shook his head.

"No, he never had time for that sort of thing," he said, but he was still smiling faintly. Lilac eyes took on a glazed, faraway look as he began to reminisce. "Tanaka taught me. Every year, he'd get the cooks to set the biggest pumpkin aside for us. Then he'd sneak me into the kitchen so we could carve it together."

"That's sweet," said Misaki, replacing the bear pumpkin. He'd never seen anything like it before; it was easy to forget that his boyfriend had spent the first ten years of his life in a foreign country, but things like these lanterns- even if they were just a kiddie holiday activity to Usagi-san- made him seem nothing short of exotic in Misaki's eyes. "What are you supposed to do with them? Are they just for decoration?" he asked, tilting his head to the side.

"Sort of," said Usagi-san. He began picking up the pumpkins and arranging them on the shelf above, recalling aloud as he did so how the people in England would put their big, orange pumpkin-lanterns out on their doorsteps instead. "To attract the trick-or-treaters," he told his boyfriend.

"Trick-or-treaters?"

Usagi-san explained, and Misaki raised an eyebrow. "You just knocked on people's doors and demanded candy?" He knew Westerners could be informal, but that just sounded plain rude to Misaki.

The pumpkin in Usagi-san's hands paused for a moment before he placed it on the shelf. "Well, no. _I_ didn't," he said. The corners of his mouth turned down a little. "I never got to do any of that stuff. Of course."

Misaki had heard enough about Usagi-san's crappy childhood to know where this was going. "Your parents?"

A slow nod. "They thought holidays like Halloween were a waste of time," Usagi-san said. He was staring into the eyes of his bear carving, and his face, bathed in candlelight, had hardened. "Tanaka could only do so much. We never had any decorations, and no trick-or-treaters came to our house because my father would always have the gates locked.

"I never got to wear a costume or duck for apples with my classmates. I've never even been trick-or-treating. Not once."

By the time he was finished talking, Misaki could hear the resentment lacing his voice. He imagined a tiny, eight-year-old Usagi-san, sitting alone in his empty mansion in England on a dark Halloween night, staring listlessly out of the window while all the other children were dressing up and running around collecting goodies- and felt a familiar pinch to his heart.

"But, Usagi-san, you don't even like candy," he offered weakly.

The author glanced at him, as if he'd forgotten Misaki was there listening. His shoulders rose and fell.

"I know. But that's not the point." Thoughtfully, he reached out and touched one of his pumpkin carvings, and it seemed to Misaki like the older man could see all of those past lonely Halloweens flickering by in his childish drawing.

"I never got to do anything normal, or fun. I suppose I was carving the pumpkins because I wanted to pretend I was celebrating like everyone else, but…"

He trailed off, and Misaki had to swallow a lump in his throat. An expression of unbearable gloominess had settled over Usagi-san's features, which Misaki suddenly found himself desperate to wipe away somehow. "Well… _we_ could still have a fun Halloween," he tried.

The author's silver head lifted a little. He eyed Misaki inquisitively. "Yeah?"

"Yeah!" said Misaki, forgetting all about dinner and the ruined kitchen for the moment. He'd never really celebrated Halloween before, but how hard could it be? An idea sprang to mind. "In fact, why don't we go out tonight and celebrate together?"

"Like a date?"

"Uh…" Misaki reddened, but shrugged and said, "Sure, I guess. If it would cheer you up."

It seemed the very offer had already lifted Usagi-san's spirits considerably; his mouth quirked into a smile again, and he brought a hand to his chin. "Alright, then. What do you propose?"

"Well…" The younger man thought for a moment. "I think there's a cosplay gathering in town tonight, and a parade. If you want, we could get dressed up and go along."

It may not have been quite the same as the pumpkin-carving, apple-ducking fright-fest of Usagi-san's English childhood, but it was pretty much the only kind of Halloween celebration Japan had to offer. Nonetheless, it seemed to pique Usagi-san's interest.

"Hmm…" he said, rubbing his chin. "I'm not a fan of crowds, but I _have_ always wanted to wear a costume on Halloween…"

Seeing how his mood had lightened, Misaki smiled with relief and squeezed his boyfriend's shoulder.

"Okay, it's a da- I mean, okay," he said quickly. Before Usagi-san could use the rare (if rather chaste) display of affection as an excuse to pounce him, he grabbed a sponge from the sink and started swabbing at the slimy kitchen counter. It really was like a pumpkin massacre. "Give me a hand cleaning up, and then we'll go costume shopping."

Usagi-san happily complied, scrubbing away at the walls with vigour. He looked excited.

"Can we do special effects make-up and everything?"

"Sure, if you want."

"Can we get cheap candy?"

"As long as you eat it."

"Misaki?"

"Hm?"

"Can I choose the costume you wear?"

The wet sponge hurtled into Usagi-san's face with a splash. "Absolutely not!"

* * *

Despite his wish to experience a 'commoner's Halloween', Usagi-san, after removing all trace of pumpkin slaughterings from the kitchen, drove the two of them to the most expensive costume boutique in the district. Misaki was sat in the changing room, surrounded by approximately five thousand yen's worth of make-up belonging to Aikawa-san, whom Usagi-san had collected on the way at her own request. She was squeezed into the cubicle with him, smearing all manner of God-knows-what over his face.

"And… finished!" she declared, setting down her make-up sponge, which was blotted with face paint. She turned Misaki around by the shoulders so he was facing the mirror. "What do you think?"

Looking over his reflection, Misaki couldn't help but laugh; he'd opted for a zombie costume, and the older editor had managed to turn every visible inch of skin a luminous green colour. In all honesty, he looked more like Shrek than a walking corpse, but it didn't really matter to Misaki.

"Perfect. Thanks, Aikawa-san."

She grinned, and took a step backwards. "How about me?"

"Uh…" He hesitated. Aikawa-san's short, red dress was squeezing her so tightly Misaki was surprised she hadn't turned into a diamond yet. She had two little devil's horns and a tail to match, as well as what looked like an entire tube of red lipstick around her mouth. She struck a pose in front of him and waited.

With a weak smile, Misaki gave her a thumbs up and said, "You look great, Aikawa-san."

The editor beamed and grabbed Misaki's hand, dragging him out of the changing room. The boutique was packed- not only with other people, but with every kind of costume under the sun. Many of the customers (as well as the staff) had already changed, and Misaki couldn't help but stare at some of the crazy get-ups. He'd always thought Halloween costumes were supposed be things like clowns and mummies, but the more he looked the more it seemed like people would dress up as just about anything for this holiday; the females, in particular, were apparently just using the costume element as an excuse to swan around in as little as possible. There were superheroes, animals, fairies, pirates, anime characters, even _objects_.

"I've never seen so many costumes before…"

Clomping through the other shoppers in her five-inch heels, Aikawa-san looked back to raise an eyebrow at him. "Is this really your first time cosplaying as anything? I'd have thought Usami-sensei would have forced you to play dress-up with him in the bedroom by now," she added with a wink.

"I'm as surprised as you are," said Misaki dryly. "The creep…"

They found said creep perusing the racks on the other side of the boutique, his brow furrowed in concentration. As they approached him, he looked up from the skeleton costume he was inspecting and immediately made a face at Aikawa-san's smudgy red mouth. "What are you, the Joker?"

His editor tossed her flaming hair indignantly. "Really, sensei! Why can't you be a gentleman like your boyfriend?" She put an arm around Misaki, who had to cover his mouth to keep from spluttering.

"You're right, Aikawa-san, I'm sorry," said the author in a tone that suggested otherwise. His eyes gave her devil suit a quick once-over. "In fact, I've never seen an outfit that more accurately captures your inner self."

Aikawa-san jabbed him with her plastic trident.

"Do you like _my_ costume, Usagi-san?" Misaki asked, doing a full turn in his tattered shirt and pants. His boyfriend considered him for a moment.

"I still think that one would have suited you better." He jerked his head towards a different outfit hanging on a nearby rack, causing Misaki to groan.

"For the last time, Usagi-san, I am _not_ wearing that."

Aikawa-san took it off the hanger; it consisted of a pair of furry, yellow shorts with a stubby tail, a matching tube top, leg and hand warmers with paw prints on them and a pair of fuzzy teddy bear ears. She held it against the younger man's torso.

"But Misaki-kun, it would look so cute on you!"

Clasping his forehead, Misaki inwardly berated himself. _Why did I suggest this again?_ Stupid Usagi and his tragic childhood…

"It's a _girl's costume_ ," he growled.

His disgruntled, green face just made the editor giggle. "It's a shame you two aren't coming to the party at Marukawa," she said, moving the costume away from Misaki but not replacing it. Usagi-san paused and looked up, frowning.

"Isaka-san didn't tell me he was having a Halloween party."

"That's probably because of what you did to Ijuuin-sensei at the _last_ party," Misaki reminded him in a grumble, cringing as he remembered the unfortunate incident last Christmas wherein Usagi-san had caught the drunken mangaka with his hand down Misaki's pants.

The author waved his hand. "Oh, I barely touched him."

"I think the paramedics they had to call would disagree."

Usagi-san just shrugged, entirely unaffected. "Well, no matter," he said, smiling at Misaki. "I'd much rather spend Halloween with you than at some boring party."

"Sensei, have you decided yet?" asked his editor.

In the hour or so it had taken his companions to get ready, Usagi-san still hadn't chosen a costume. His forehead creased anew upon hearing the question, and he turned back to the clothes rack.

"It's a much harder decision than I thought," he said. He looked like he'd been given a really difficult math problem to work out. "Now I understand why most people do this weeks in advance…"

Ever the style advisor, Aikawa-san immediately joined him in the search. She filed dutifully through the rows of wigs, rubber masks and capes, picking out various outfits and holding them up against her author's frame while she pursed her lips in thought.

"Hmm… You might suit a werewolf, with doggy ears and a tail. Or, _ooh_ , you could be a sexy policeman, or a fireman…" Suddenly, she dropped everything she was holding and squealed, pointing to an ensemble of black leather straps that looked like it belonged in Christian Grey's Red Room. "Oh my God, that one! Definitely that one!"

Misaki said, "If you get that one, I'm breaking up with you"

Thankfully, Usagi-san shook his head.

"No, no, I have to look like a commoner…" He looked from his boyfriend to his editor, and from his expression one would think it was a matter of life or death. "What's the most generic, ordinary Halloween costume there is?"

 _He's taking this really seriously…_ While Misaki scratched his head, wondering if he was maybe going to regret this later on, Aikawa-san's face brightened.

"Well, that's easy," she said. She turned and started rummaging through the rack beside her, eventually letting out a triumphant 'ha!' and pulling something out on its hanger with a flourish: a vampire costume, cape, cravat and all.

"Ta-dah!" she trilled. "The most overused horror cliché of all time! Ooh, sensei, you're going to look so _handsome_ …"

Usagi-san's eyes flashed. "Perfect."

"Will that be all, sir?" asked the clerk five minutes later, batting her long false eyelashes. She was dressed in a rather scandalous nurse's uniform, but despite her efforts, Usagi-san didn't seem to notice. Instead, he pointed to the bear costume.

"That one, too."

" _Usagi-san!"_

* * *

After doing her author's make-up for him (which, given that he was an adult man, took longer than it really should have), Aikawa-san left for Marukawa, doing an odd hobble-trot down the street in her tight skirt. Misaki and Usagi-san went in the other direction, towards the boulevard where the parade was supposed to happen. The moon was already high above the city skyline, and a nippy October gale sent crispy leaves skittering by as they walked.

A trio of young women in fishnets and animal ears passed them, and Misaki shook his head, amazed. "How the hell do all these girls walk around like that in this weather?" he muttered. The cold air was pimpling his skin through the holes in his zombie shirt, and he pulled his jacket tightly around himself.

Usagi-san wasn't paying attention to anyone else's costume; he was too distracted by his own. He looked very proud of his vampire outfit- Perhaps a little _too_ proud, Misaki thought, watching his boyfriend stride along with his back straight and his chin raised as though he were Count Dracula himself. His cape swished dramatically around him as he turned to look at the smaller man.

"What about me? How do I look?"

"Like a grown man pretending to be a vampire."

He grinned, showing off his new glue-in fangs. "Excellent."

They continued on their way. Many other cosplayers passed them, and while there were some incredibly creative costumes, nobody seemed to pull off their outfits quite as well as Usagi-san did the vampire suit; Misaki would rather die than admit it, but if he was being honest, his boyfriend looked the part. Whereas his costume was nothing but the bare essentials (raggedy clothes, green skin and a few splashes of fake blood), Usagi-san, in typical Usami fashion, had gone all-out. Aikawa-san had given him dark circles around his eyes and a thin, red trickle at the corner of his mouth, and she'd even bought some hair gel to slick his silver locks back off his forehead. The cape had a high collar, framing his white face, and he wore a waistcoat made of dark purple velvet that brought out his lavender irises. It might have been the most typical of all Halloween costumes, Misaki thought, but somehow, Usagi-san managed to stand out rather than blend in.

Not that the costume made him look _sexy_ or anything. Not at all.

After a while, the scattered cosplayers began to file into a steady stream, all heading towards the boulevard. The couple joined them, sticking close to each other in the crush (not that that was difficult, what with Misaki's green face shining through the dark like a lamp). It was a long and cold walk- but the look on Usagi-san's face when they finally arrived more than made up for it. His expression of vampiric vanity vanished, replaced with one of such utter awe that it was almost comical.

"Look at this place," he murmured, half to himself. "It's just like on TV…"

Misaki laughed. The street did look pretty cool, he supposed, albeit in a slightly cheesy sort of way. Green and purple lights were twisted around lampposts, and strings of little white ghosts and black bats fluttered above their heads. There were even pumpkins- not little green ones, but huge, plump, orange ones like Usagi-san had described. Misaki wondered how much they cost.

"The parade doesn't start for another three hours," he said to Usagi-san. He had to shout a little over the noise; not only was the crowd heaving, but there was also chilling music pouring from some unknown source. "What do you want to do until then?"

There was no lack of entertainment on the boulevard. As well all the regular stores, which were staying open late, various stalls- most of them selling candy or Halloween-themed merchandise- had been set up, costumed vendors behind them loudly announcing their wares.

Still gazing wide-eyed at their surroundings, Usagi-san grabbed Misaki's hand and gripped it tightly.

"Everything."

"Everything?"

"Everything."

Misaki sighed. "Everything it is." He wouldn't have expected Akihiko Usami to settle for anything less.

* * *

True to his word, Usagi-san proceeded to drag Misaki up and down the entire street and back again, stopping every five minutes and marvelling at the products on display. Misaki couldn't say he shared his enthusiasm- it was mostly just 'spooky' pranks and gags, like toy rats and plastic severed hands- but watching the childlike wonder glittering in Usagi-san's eyes as he beheld them was entertainment enough for him.

 _He's like a little kid_ , Misaki thought to himself, smiling as Usagi-san exchanged a fascinated stare with a glassy fake eyeball. So what if this holiday was just another tacky westernisation designed to make money? If Usagi-san was enjoying himself, then Misaki was content.

… At least, he was until around their third trip back up the avenue. By then he couldn't help but grow a _tiny_ bit exasperated; it didn't help that Usagi-san couldn't seem to walk past a single stall without buying something from it.

"Usagi-san," he panted, struggling to keep up as he was pulled through the thronging crowd. "Usagi-san, slow down! There's no hurry."

Laden with plastic shopping bags under his cape now, the novelist took no notice of his request. If anything, he started walking faster.

"But there's a whole table of cheap candy over there. I have to get there before they sell out."

"But you don't even _like_ candy…" Misaki muttered, his words getting lost in the excited babble of the crowd. He doubted they would have deterred Usagi-san anyway; he practically barged his way through to the table, stopping in front of it and staring down at the array of pumpkin-shaped lollipops and jelly spiders as if they were rare antiques, or gold.

After surveying the stall for about a minute, he looked up at the vendor. "Leave one of each kind, but I want all the rest."

"Okay, that's it!" Grabbing him by the cape, Misaki hauled his boyfriend- already with his wallet in hand- away before he could bankrupt himself. He ignored the older man's protests. "You need to stop buying so much useless junk, Usagi-san. You already wasted a fortune on that stupid bear outfit," he said, throwing the boutique bag amongst Usagi-san's many others a dirty look.

In the greenish light of the square, Usagi-san's pointed canines flashed. "I didn't waste my money. You can wear it later tonight," he said with a lecherous leer.

Misaki just snorted. "If you seriously think I'm _ever_ putting that thing on, then all that face paint must be leaking toxic chemicals into your brain."

Sighing in mock-hurt, Usagi-san shifted all his shopping bags onto one arm so he'd have a free one to wrap around Misaki's shoulders. "But it would look so good on you." He drew the boy in close under his cape. Misaki rolled his eyes, but stayed there because it was warm.

"It would look _ridiculous_." Glancing down at his bloodied rags and luminous skin, however, he laughed sheepishly. "Well, I guess I look kind of ridiculous anyway."

"I think you look rather lovely, actually."

"Usagi-san, I'm dressed as a dead person."

"A dead gorgeous person."

"That's _terrible_ ," said Misaki, scowling. His face was hot. "Can't you do better than that, mister bestselling author?"

Seeing straight through his poorly concealed embarrassment, Usagi-san stooped to drop a kiss on top of Misaki's unruly, dark head. "Awful, but true." They were right at the other end of the street now, further than they'd been before, and something suddenly seemed to catch the author's eye. "Hey, look, a bear."

Craning his neck to see over the sea of heads, Misaki saw that there was indeed a large teddy bear standing nearby- or, more precisely, a person in a teddy bear suit. It held a bunch of brightly coloured balloons in one paw, looking rather out-of-place amidst all the scary costumes, and for some reason Misaki thought it seemed strangely familiar.

 _Probably just because my boyfriend has bears on the brain_ , he thought; indeed, Usagi-san was already pulling him towards the mascot. "Only get _one_ balloon, Usagi-san."

"Happy Halloween!" said the bear when they approached it, handing them each a skull-shaped balloon. Then, "Would you like to visit our haunted house? It's been known to be the scariest in Tokyo."

"Haunted house…?" Following the bear's pointing paw, Misaki's eyes quickly found a line of balloon-wielding customers waiting in front of the attraction's entrance, which was guarded by a bespectacled skeleton who Misaki recognised immediately. He broke into a grin.

"I thought so. Hey, Sumi-senpai!"

He jogged over, breaking away from Usagi-san. His old classmate only looked surprised for a moment before he smiled as well (although, with the skull make-up he was smiling anyway).

"Misaki." He raised a bony hand in greeting, looking pleased to see his old friend. He looked even more pleased, however, when he saw who was with him. The smile widened. "And Usami-sensei. I didn't expect to see the two of you here. Cool costumes."

"Thanks," said Misaki, grinning. Usagi-san, whose face had soured, tried to walk off, but Misaki caught him by the corner of his cape. "I see you brought your famous haunted house to the Halloween parade."

"Well, we made quite a bit of cash from it at school, so I figured, why not?" Sumi replied in that smooth voice of his. Even as he spoke, coins jingled into his waiting palm as people passed him into the entrance. "Business has been great so far- I think I even saw a couple of my old university professors.

"Feel free to check it out if you want, Misaki, sensei," Sumi went on, nodding to each of them in turn. "There's still a couple of hours until the parade."

Grinning eagerly, Misaki nodded. "Sure, it sounds like fun!"

"No it doesn't." Usagi-san, still giving Sumi the evil eye, turned on his heel, but Misaki grabbed him yet again, tugging him towards the back of the line.

"Stop being childish, Usagi-san," Misaki hissed once they were out of earshot. "I know you don't like Sumi-senpai, but there's no need to be so rude."

His boyfriend's 'hmph' dissolved into a white cloud in the cold autumn air. "I'm not being childish. I just think haunted houses are stupid."

"Oh, please," said Misaki, scoffing. "You were the one losing your mind over a bunch of kids' toys."

Though he tried to maintain his unhappy face, Misaki could tell Usagi-san was curious as they joined the line for the house. Most of the other customers were holding balloons, and they were bouncing on their tiptoes in an attempt to keep warm. The house was draped from head to toe in gauzy cobwebs, and if Misaki listened closely, he could have sworn he could hear screaming coming from inside.

"Have you been inside before?"

"No, I just helped senpai manage it," said Misaki. He pointed to the guy in the bear costume. "I was the one giving out the balloons."

Usagi-san tutted. "So you'll dress up like a bear if _he_ tells you to…"

Before Misaki could make a retort, a cluster of about ten people suddenly burst from the back exit of the haunted house, blubbering. They scrambled hastily away, faces ranging from queasy to furious to downright traumatised. Many of them were in tears. The only one who didn't look at all affected was a boy who might have been a little younger than Misaki, griping to a much older man at his side.

"I'm going to ask for my money back," he said, a sneer on his green, leafy face (was he supposed to be a… a head of _cabbage_?). "That was _so_ boring- Those special effects weren't scary at all."

The older man rubbed the back of his head wearily. "Yes, they certainly pale in comparison to you, Shinobu-chin…"

As they walked away, Usagi-san nudged Misaki's side. "See, that kid says it wasn't even scary. Let's go do something else instead of giving that brat our money."

"Usagi-san! Sumi-senpai is not a-"

"Akihiko, is that you?"

They turned, and Misaki nearly jumped out of his skin as he was confronted with the most frightening thing he'd seen all evening: namely, the face of his infamous former literature professor, Kamijou the Devil.

"K-Kamijou-sensei?!" Misaki stammered, even though the teacher wasn't even looking at him. Instead, he was regarding Akihiko with a raised eyebrow.

"Akihiko, what in God's name are you wearing?"

Seeing his childhood friend, Usagi-san forgot his bad mood in an instant. The corner of his mouth quirked upwards, and he leaned against the handrail that cordoned off the line.

"Hiroki, what a surprise," he drawled, turning to face the other with a regal whip of his cape. He looked the professor up and down. "I should be asking you the same thing. Where's your costume?"

Kamijou was, in fact, the only person in sight who was dressed normally, wearing nothing but a shirt, tie and slacks. Sniffing, he flicked a lock of cinnamon hair out of his eyes.

"Catch me playing dress-up like a five-year-old girl," he grumbled, but proceeded to explain, "Since everyone at the university is afraid of me anyway, Nowaki said my costume should just be myself. It was his idea to come here," he said, jerking his head at the man beside him.

He was pretty hard to miss- one, because he was so tall, and two, because from the moment Kamijou emerged from the haunted house, this Nowaki guy had been clinging like a limpet to his arm. He was dressed as Frankenstein's monster, but nonetheless, the giant looked anything but frightening as he clutched onto the shorter man. He was quaking with fear.

"The haunted house was a little too much for him," Kamijou told them.

"I-I want to go h-h-home now, Hiro-san," his pale-faced companion managed to stutter, causing Kamijou to raise his eyes to the heavens.

"For God's sake, it was just a bunch of plastic skeletons, you big wuss! You're a doctor! You look at _real_ skeletons all the time!"

They wandered away, Nowaki still whimpering and Kamijou still barking at him. Misaki watched them leave and laughed heartily.

"What a baby, eh, Usagi-san?"

They shuffled forwards as the line moved. The author raised his eyebrows. "You're one to talk."

"Eh?!" Misaki froze in his tracks, and the person behind him walked smack into his back, triggering a pile-up all the way through the line. There were grumbled complaints from the other customers, and Misaki mumbled an apology, flushing. He glared up at Usagi-san. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You can't be serious." Sniggering, Usagi-san gave his boyfriend a teasing cuff about the head. "Misaki, you're just about the wimpiest person I know."

Misaki's jaw dropped, and his voice rose involuntarily in volume. "Excuse me?!"

"You're scared of _everything_ ," Usagi-san said. His mouth had twisted into that annoying smirk again. "You do that girly little scream of yours at least ten times a day."

"That's because you're always sneaking up and groping me, you- Wait, _girly_?"

The author nodded, chuckling at Misaki's flabbergasted face. "It's nothing to be ashamed of," he assured him, giving him a few condescending pats on the head. "I still love my little scaredy-cat all the same."

At this point, it was a wonder the green face paint didn't start sizzling on Misaki's cheeks. His mouth opened and closed, goldfish-like, and his fists clenched by his sides.

"That's not- How could- Why you- I am _not_ a scaredy-cat!" he said finally.

"Sure you're not."

"I'm _not_!" he cried, outraged. _Girly…_ In the line, heads were turning. He glared at Usagi-san. "Have you forgotten that I _love_ creepy stuff? Horror movies, ghost stories… I'm not scared of any of them!"

"You nearly had a heart attack when I woke you up the other day."

"That's because you woke me up by grabbing my-!" He clapped a hand over his mouth, jolting, and Usagi-san laughed.

"Don't try and deny it, Misaki," he said. The smirk hadn't disappeared. "I bet you won't even make it to midnight without screaming at something."

Grinding his teeth, Misaki planted his hands on his hips and puffed his chest out, leaning towards the author's face.

"Yeah? Well, _I_ bet that I _will_ , so there."

They were almost to the entrance now. Cocking his head, Usagi-san brought a hand to his chin. "Oh, you want to make this interesting, do you?"

Green eyes narrowed. _I'll show you, you smug bunny bastard._

"Sure, why not?" he said. He glanced at the large clock tower that stood over the boulevard; it was half past nine. Raising a declarative finger, he asserted, "Usagi-san, unless I scream once within the next two and a half hours, you have to…"

He thought for a moment, and then grinned wickedly, a row of white teeth splitting his green face in half. "Eat one bell pepper for every piece of cheap candy you just bought."

His boyfriend's smirk shrank just a little, but he nodded his assent.

"Very well. But if I _can_ make you scream before midnight," he said, the corners of his mouth curling slowly upwards again, "you have to wear the sexy bear costume for an entire day."

Misaki spluttered. "What? No!"

"Backing out already, are we?" said Usagi-san silkily. Something that could only be described as utter malice glittered in his eyes. "Someone's more scaredy-cat than he cares to admit."

Growling, Misaki stuck his nose in the air. "Fine, whatever. It doesn't matter anyway, 'cause I'm the one who's gonna win this, Usagi-san," he said, crossing his arms.

"Oh, we'll see, Misaki. We'll see…" They had reached the front of the line now. Handing their change to Sumi, they stood side-by-side in front of the doorway; it loomed above them, black and gaping like a mouth, and Misaki swore he felt a cold draft as Usagi-san looked down at him and winked.

"Remember, if you scream once, you lose."

A shiver ran along Misaki's spine, but he refused to break his challenger's gaze. He squared his shoulders, walking boldly towards the entrance.

"You're on, rabbit."

* * *

The guy in the teddy bear suit hadn't been exaggerating. In fact, as he cowered his way through the halls of the haunted house- leaping with fright every two seconds, to Usagi-san's immense enjoyment- Misaki had to wonder if some of the stuff they had in here was even _legal_ … He only hoped for Sumi's sake that no old ladies with heart conditions decided to enter. Still, he managed not to scream. The same could not be said for the other visitors, however, and Misaki's ears were ringing by the time he and Usagi-san finally made it outside.

"I have to hand it to your friend- That was more entertaining than I expected," the author said. Of course, he looked entirely unruffled. He looked down at Misaki- who, despite himself, was still hanging on to Usagi-san's vampire cape- and asked, "Ready to admit defeat yet?"

Though he didn't let go, Misaki let out a snort. "No _way_ , stupid Usagi," he said, trying to keep the tremor out of his voice. Slyly, he added, "Unless you've already given up?"

Usagi-san pursed his lips. "Not yet."

They still had an hour and a half to go before the parade started, so Usagi-san took him to a nearby movie theatre, where they watched an old horror movie in black and white. This time, not screaming was easy (probably because, unbeknownst to Usagi-san, Misaki had seen the movie before), and when he found the glass eyeball from before in his popcorn, Misaki only laughed. Usagi-san also tried blowing on his neck, putting a rubber spider he'd bought on Misaki's shoulder and holding a creepy clown mask in front of his face when the lights came on, but to no avail.

"Is that all you've got?" Misaki asked as they exited the theatre. Cosplayers were now congregating at the edges of the shadowy road, waiting for the parade to march past.

So sure of himself earlier, Usagi-san was now looking utterly perplexed. "Why is that Halloween, of all days, is the day when nothing scares you?"

Honestly, Misaki couldn't say himself. Perhaps it was because the anticipant buzz of the waiting spectators was electrifying, and all the lights and decorations and costumes were making it too hard to be scared. Perhaps it was because what had started out as a petty dispute between him and Usagi-san was actually turning out to be kind of funny. Perhaps it was because, as Usagi-san grew more and more frustrated as his boyfriend refused to scream no matter what he tried, Misaki began to enjoy himself more and more.

Perhaps, he thought to himself as the parade finally began and the music swelled and crowd cheered jubilantly around him, it was simply because Usagi-san was by his side that he found it impossible to feel truly frightened.

Not that he would actually ever _say_ that out loud, not even as when he found himself snuggled up beside his boyfriend later that night. They'd found a flight of stone steps leading to some other part of the city, and if they sat halfway up they had a decent view of the parade without having to squeeze through the mass of spectators. They were huddled beneath Usagi-san's heavy cape for warmth- his abundance of shopping bags piled up next to them- munching their way through candied apples in comfortable silence. Aside from a brief tussle when Usagi-san tried to get Misaki to scream by tickling him, it was very peaceful.

Misaki breathed in the scent of soap and cigarettes, soft velvet cushioning his cheek. The parade inched along in an endless, brightly coloured procession, mascots waving, acrobats leaping, shiny confetti twinkling under the lights. The music from the band and the crowd's chatter was pleasantly subdued by the distance. With the huge, silvery full moon hanging over it all like a crown, it really did look quite spectacular.

He was so caught up in just watching, and licking sticky caramel from his lips, and feeling the steady rise and fall of Usagi-san's chest beneath his cheek, that when his boyfriend suddenly spoke it surprised him.

"Thank you for this."

"For what?" asked Misaki, shifting a little to look up at him. "Proving I'm not as wimpy as you thought I was?"

He felt the author's smoky chuckle rumbling through his chest. "I just mean… this," he said. He gestured around them, at the parade and their costumes and the moon. "This whole night."

There was a burst of applause from the audience as one of the gymnasts performed some stunt or another, and Misaki settled back down to watch.

"It's not a big deal, Usagi-san."

He stifled a sleepy yawn, and the author pulled him a little closer.

"I know to you it's not," he said, murmuring into Misaki's hair. "But, still. If you hadn't offered to come here with me tonight, it would have just been another Halloween of sitting at home feeling sorry for myself. Now, I can't remember the last time I had this much fun.

"So, thank you for that." A hand snuck under Misaki's chin as he spoke, and he lifted the boy's face upwards for a gentle kiss. Not for the first time that evening, Misaki felt his cheeks colour, and was suddenly very glad of the green face paint.

For the younger man, this had been one of the weirdest nights of his life, but… he was glad of it. He was glad he'd celebrated his first Halloween with Usagi-san. Misaki didn't say that, though; instead, he poked the author's side and said,

"Y-you won't be thanking me when you lose the bet in a few minutes." He pointed to the clock tower, which read quarter to twelve. Following his finger, Usagi-san tutted.

"This won't do. I'm determined to get you into that bear costume…"

"You might as well give up, Usagi-san," said Misaki, and patted the man's chest. "Hope you're hungry for bell peppers."

"Don't get cocky. There's still time," the author reminded him. Thoughtfully, he tapped his chin. "But how to make you scream…"

Even though Misaki knew his victory was assured by now, he decided to humour his boyfriend. "You could tell me a scary story," he suggested, pulling the cape more tightly around himself.

Usagi-san hummed. "A story that would make you scream, huh? Let's see…" After a moment's consideration, Usagi-san sat up a little straighter. "Okay, I think I might have one that'll do the trick."

"I'm listening."

As Misaki closed his eyes and waited, Usagi-san cleared his throat. "Okay, here we go…

"' _Oh, Akihiko-sama,' Misaki moaned breathlessly, his skin flushed and glistening with sweat as he panted and writhed beneath his handsome tutor. 'Wait- Stop! W-we can't…'"_

Misaki's eyes snapped open, and he lifted his head. " _What_ did you say?"

"' _Oh, but Misaki, we must,' said Akihiko huskily. His fingertips wandered, torturously slow, over Misaki's trembling body. 'I want to make you_ scream _with pleasure.'"_

"Usagi-san, what the hell?!"

"… _he kissed Misaki slowly and seductively, and then, reaching downwards, began to delicately caress his-"_

Misaki clamped both his hands over the author's mouth with such force that he knocked both of them down, sending their candied apples flying. Screwing his eyes shut, he whipped his head furiously from side to side, seething.

"Shut up, shut up, shut _up_!"

Lying on his back against the stone step, Usagi-san blinked up at him innocently. "What? You asked me to tell you a story."

He was muffled by Misaki's hands, which still hadn't left his mouth. Straddling Usagi-san's stomach, the boy glared and shouted, "I meant a _ghost_ story, and you know it! Not your perverted BL crap! You can't say those dirty things out in public, you freaking moron!"

"Oh. You should have been more specific." Sitting up and dusting himself off, he asked, "So, did I win?"

Now that he was in Usagi-san's lap, Misaki tried to wriggle away, but the author held him there. So instead, he just folded his arms across his chest and huffed. "No."

"Damn…" Glancing at the clock tower- it was eight minutes to midnight- Usagi-san sighed heavily. He gave his boyfriend an apologetic look. "Very well then, Misaki. You leave me with no choice."

"Huh?"

Before he could get anything else out, Misaki was cut off with a yelp of shock as he was suddenly tipped backwards. Usagi-san's arm saved him from cracking his head open on the concrete steps, but he struggled all the same. "Wait, Usagi-san, what are you doing?!"

"Following the story Akihiko's example," he replied, hovering above the smaller man. With the inky sky behind him, the sharp fangs and the trickle of blood, Misaki thought he had never looked more predatory. "If I can't scare you, I'll simply have to make you scream in a… _different_ sort of way."

For the first time that evening, Misaki's heart skipped a beat.

"No, no, no…" He tried to crawl backwards, but the man above him kept advancing. "Usagi-san, no!" he cried, swatting frantically at those large hands as they started to wander. One of them slipped through a tear in his zombie shirt, and he hissed as cold fingertips came into contact with his flesh. "We're in _public_ , you creep, cut it out! There's like a million people right over there!"

"They're all watching the parade," Usagi-san said. He retracted his hand, only to then use both of them to push the hem of Misaki's shirt up so they could slide over his stomach and chest. He lowered himself to Misaki's throat, pointed fangs just grazing the soft skin there for a second.

"Besides, I'm positively parched for your _blood_ , Misaki," he drawled in an over-the-top vampire voice. "I won't be satiated until I get to nibble at your lovely neck..."

"Get _off_ me!"

Trapped, Misaki squirmed helplessly. Even with Usagi-san's cape shrouding them both, the air was cold, and so was the concrete beneath him, unbearable against his already heated skin.

"Ah… Usagi-san, _stop_ …"

"I'll stop when you scream for me."

"Not… ngh… gonna happen, you stupid rabbit!"

Usagi-san simply hummed. "Have it your way, then."

With that, he leaned down and began to press delicate kisses against Misaki's skin, aiming for all his most sensitive spots: the corners of his eyes, his ears, his neck- anywhere but his mouth. He didn't seem to mind the face paint. Two thumbs began working at the buds on Misaki's chest, deliberately slowly, and he bit his lip so hard he tasted blood.

Usagi-san's breath in his ear was warm and tingly and sweet with caramel. "Scream for me, Misaki." He whispered it in a tantalising, sing-song voice.

"N… no…" Prying his eyes open, Misaki dragged them towards the clock tower. Five minutes until twelve. Only five measly minutes, but when he was pinned beneath Usagi-san like this, shivers coursing through him and sweat beading his brow, they seemed to stretch in front of him for miles and miles.

"No," he said again, gasping. "I'm not… going to lose…"

Usagi-san's wicked fangs gleamed at him through the darkness. "We'll see about that."

His hand began to glide southwards, and Misaki, powerless to stop it, could only clench his teeth and choke back the cries that were building in his throat at the sensations. He watched the clock hands. Just four more minutes. He could do this… He'd show Usagi-san…

_Tick, tick, tick…_

Usagi-san's fingers were creeping past the waistband of his trousers now, and Misaki's were twisted so tightly in the author's crisp, white shirt it was almost tearing. Still, he did not scream. He wouldn't lose… He would _not_ lose!

"Usagi…" His voice was strained. "… san…"

"Hey, Misaki, Usagi!" came a sudden, familiar voice. Immediately, the pair froze- Usagi-san's mouth at Misaki's neck and his hand hooked around the boy's jeans- and looked up to see a figure that had seemingly materialised out of thin air on the steps beside them.

Takahiro smiled down at them, and waved. "Happy Halloween!"

The scream that rang out into the night was audible all over Tokyo.

* * *

"Oh, Misaki, I'm sorry!" said Takahiro, when Misaki had quieted. He was swathed from head to toe in mummy bandages, looking slightly alarmed as he knelt on the steps beside his petrified brother. "I didn't mean to scare you!"

"Takahiro, how nice to run into you." Usagi-san, composed and sitting upright in a microsecond, gave his friend an easy smile. "I didn't expect to see you here."

Behind Takahiro, a pointed witch's hat belonging to Manami came into view as she hurried up the steps to join him, carrying their sleepy son in her arms. He was dressed as a chubby, orange pumpkin, and rubbed his eyes as he was awoken (most likely because of Misaki).

"I didn't think we'd see you two, either!" he said, rising to stand beside his wife. "But we decided to bring Mahiro to see the parade, and Manami thought she recognised you."

Manami herself was peering down at the younger brother. "Are you okay, Misaki-kun?"

Not yet fully recovered, Misaki half-lay on the cold, concrete step, wheezing. His eyes were round. As an enormous cheer rose up from the crowd below at the parade's big finale, the clock tower began to chime twelve. There was a horrible sinking feeling in his chest, and his lower eyelid flickered.

"Yeah, Misaki, you look a little flustered," Takahiro said. Standing over his brother, he tilted his bandaged head in curiosity. "What are you doing down there, anway?"

"Uh, um, guh…" After a gibbering like a lunatic for a few seconds, he finally managed, "Stargazing?"

 _Wait,_ what?

Manami's mouth twisted knowingly to the side. "Stargazing," she repeated.

A stiff nod. "Mm-hm."

"Oh, how nice!" Beaming, Takahiro offered him a hand up. "You and Usagi are always having such fun together! I'm so glad you've gotten to be such good friends!"

Taking his brother's outstretched hand, Misaki hauled himself to his feet. He legs were wobbly when he tried to stand on them. "Y-yeah, of course, Nii-chan..." _That_ _was_ way _too close._ God knows what they would have done if Usagi-san's cape hadn't been shielding them…

Wait, this was his fault in the first place, wasn't it?! Shitty Usagi!

"Are you sure you're okay, Misaki?" Takahiro asked. "That was quite a scream!"

"I'm fine…" Misaki mumbled weakly. Up above, the enormous face of the clock tower grinned at him through the darkness. Mocking him.

Behind him, a deep voice, equally mocking. "I think all the Halloween stuff just made Misaki a little jumpy.

"You know what a scaredy-cat he is."

Takahiro laughed again, slapping an unresponsive Misaki on the back. "You said it, Usagi-san!"

Meanwhile, Manami was looking from her oblivious husband to the bedraggled Misaki to the oh-so-innocent Usagi-san with thinly veiled amusement. Smiling sympathetically at Misaki's face- which truly did look like that of a zombie now- she asked, "Um… Would you two like to come home with us for some tea?"

Before Misaki could jump at the offer, a hand landed on his shoulder, silencing him. He slumped in defeat. He knew what that hand meant: _You lost_ , it said, _You're mine now._

He swallowed.

"That's very kind of you, Manami-san, but I'm afraid we'll have to decline. Misaki and I have… other business to attend to."

Manami's hazel-brown eyes twinkled beneath the brim of her hat. "Understood."

"I guess we'll be going, then." Takahiro, unaware of Misaki's ghost-white face beneath the green paint, ruffled his little brother's hair. "By the way, Misaki, cool costume! I think this is the first time I've seen you all dressed up."

The hand gripping Misaki's shoulder tightened. When Usagi-san spoke, Misaki could practically _hear_ his triumphant smirk. "And I'm sure it won't be the last."

And so, as the boulevard began to empty and the pumpkin-lanterns sputtered out one by one and Misaki's first Halloween drew to a close, he felt his stomach twist with cold dread. The next twenty-four hours were surely going to be _unbearable_.


End file.
